Will this ever be over? Part 1

All summed up, the reason I started this blog was to find things I have in common with others. I married the man I thought to be my dreams in 2002. He has always been in a social drinker in our younger years.he treated me great. We never had money but we “got by”. The last few years have a been a nightmare. I have 2 amazing kids, I will always be there for them. I feel awful for the life they have been driven through, and the different feelings they have had that I can’t make easier on them. It affects our everyday life.

In detox 2016, husband went to detox. I previously left him. He agreed if I came back he would go into a recovery place for a while. While he was there, my kids and I paid all consequences and did what we had to do in order to get our family through. Making me matters worse, in detox, I found out whole time I left him, he was living it up. Partying, drinking, totally trashed his back doing things he wouldn’t have done sober. I spent time trying not to lose all the things we had built up.

He came home from detox. It was weird. I don’t know if I was naive wanting to believe the help he got was the answer to all our problems. I didn’t want to walk on tip toes anymore, thinking my kids and I was gonna be let down. Once out of detox, he and I decided to get his life together, his license straight, and on the right road to sobriety. I went to meetings with him when I was able. I remember thinking is this gonna bring my family back to where we need to be. I had friends helping him find work.

I think when things got hard again, he gave up. He no longer drank beer. He was now on straight cheap vodka to take edge off anxiety. This destroyed everything I ever wanted to put into saving our marriage. I promised my kids I would stay stay by his side as long as he kept up with treatment…

time went on, he was having trouble breathing one night. I talked him into hospital one night, assuring him it was best thing to do. I took him in I think aug 29th 2016. They were doing all kinds of test on him. Blood full panel, catscan, mri, neurological test, along with many more. I left hospital at 5 am. He was givin Ativan and other stuff to be able to rest why I left, showered, got kids up and ready for school. After all that I get back to hospital to find out, bryan’s health declined badly. They did my have equipment to help at this little hospital so decided transferring to main hospital in area was in best interest, so started transfer. He was. Ow tied down to bed and on stronger meds to settle down.

I followed this ambulance over, just to find out, they were once again transferring him over to Beaumont royal oak. His body is shutting down, organs are not working, and they had to get to end of this with what they decided would be best treatment. He was in between hospitals and ended up in a coma. He has severe pancreatitis, kidneys completely shut down, infection levels through the roof, non respondent. My kids were scared and so was I. Bryan was in this coma for a month. Drs kept saying he had 50/50 chance. Alcohol has destroyed him.

Poor Collyn and Daisie, Collyn wouldn’t even see him at this point. He didn’t want to see dad in that condition and if was to have his miracle, he wanted to remember the good out of his prayer and miracle he believed in that daddy could be fixed. I was exhausted and dealing with my own demons fighting hashimotos, 2 goiters, fibro, anxiety, depression, among others. I had to fight I couldn’t leave my kids like this…. to be continued



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